


Don't You Wanna be so Glad That You've Been Lying Spending Every Single Night Alone

by astromirage



Category: IT - Stephen King, IT(2017) - Fandom
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Eddie is just a lil shit, Gay Richie Tozier, Homophobia, Jk hes repressed and sad, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie is bad at feelings, Richie is just a funky lil guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21811612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astromirage/pseuds/astromirage
Summary: The one in which Richie hides his feelings because he's the funny one, and the funny one can't show his feelings. But Eddie, he understands.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	1. Forgive Me for Hiding Remorse

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen it 2 so I'm winging this.

Richie's eyes water as he runs out of that arcade, away from the homophobia that shook him to his core, that made him scared and fearful of himself. 

If people knew, if they knew about the way he looked at the brunette boy, his freckled cheeks and his sparkly brown eyes. 

He'd be dead, he's dead enough at this point. If he couldn't keep his mouth shut, or his hands to himself, he'd be a dead boy. 

He's ashamed at his feelings, he shouldn't feel this way for his best friend. But he does and it scares him that he wants to act on it. He wants to kiss the boys cheek and feel his hand in his and call him his. 

He's stuck in a deep dark hole of repression. His mind can't stop running with these suffocating thoughts. So when he makes it to the park, he sits, trying to calm down, trying not to sob any longer. He's trying so hard. 

He looks up at the statue of Paul Bunyan and blinks hard, thinking that it moved. He stands up when it does and his heart pounds, his eyes water again. The statue steps from its place and leans down. 

A smaller boy gasps from where he's standing, behind the bench. Him and his red short shorts in all his glory. 

Richie's head snaps up and he locks eyes with Eddie Kaspbrak. 

"Eddie? What're you doin here?" 

"No time, run." Eddie responds, taking Richie's hand in his and sprinting away. 

Richie turns his gaze back in fear and forces his head to look away. 

"Fucking come on Rich!" 

He tries to pick up his pace, heaving and panting. 

Eddie yells a quick "It's not real Richie! He's not there!" 

Richie nods and squeezes his eyes shut. "Not there, not there."

And just like that, there wasn't a sentient statue chasing them. 

Richie collapses onto his knees and gasps for air, he brings Eddie down with him. 

"God I think I just shit my pants." 

Eddie looks over to him, frowning. Richie notices his hand in Eddie's and rips it away. 

"Richie. What happened?" 

"What do you mean?"

"At the arcade Rich." 

Richie feels his cheeks tinge. "People found out that I fucked their mom." He says, half heartedly. 

"I'm being serious."

Richie gets up and rubs his palms on his thighs. "It's really nothing Eds." 

He walks away, Eddie trailing behind him closely. "Tell me. I saw you run out of the arcade. I'm not stupid, something is wrong." 

Richie laughs awkwardly and shakes his head. He ignores the smaller's pleas while he walks home. He gets up to his door, setting his hand on the doorknob. 

"Bye Eds." He shouts. 

"Wait right there Richard Wentworth Tozier!" 

Richie turns and sighs He rubs his eyes, opens his door and heads. Eddie looks on, in disbelief of how closed off Richie is being.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda shitty but oh whale.

Eddie stands there for a few minutes, mulling over what happened. He knocks on the Toizer door, hoping to follow Richie in and talk to him.

Maggie opens the door, "Oh, hello Eddie. Uh, Richie just went upstairs." 

"Can I see him?" 

"Sure, come on in." She smiles. 

"Thank you Maggie." Eddie says gratefully. 

"Anytime Eddie." 

Eddie jogs up the stairs and turns to face Richie's door. He positions his hand to knock and instead, he opens the door. He lays his eyes on a blanketed lump that was shaking and sobbing. 

"Rich?" 

The lump looks up and wipes his eyes. 

"What the fuck Eds?" 

"I uh, asked your mom if I could come in, because I knew you weren't okay." Eddie explains, walking into his room and closing the door. 

"Well get the fuck outta my room." He mutters, sniffling tears away. 

"No." 

"Eddie. Please just leave." 

"No. Because I know you Richie. I know that you keep your feelings hidden and you act like nothing matters. You make jokes when you're hurting because for some reason you can't let anyone see your emotions. Richie, you're allowed to feel sad. It's unhealthy to repress things this much." 

Richie looks up, tearfully and painfully. "You don't understand Eddie. It's so much more than being sad."

"Then explain Richie. I need you to explain." 

"I wanna know what happened at the arcade?! Do you!?" 

Eddie steps back at volume of Richie's voice. 

"Bowers! Bowers fucking happened! He fucking called me a fag and fucking chased me out of there." 

Eddie gasps and steps towards Richie, reaching out to him. 

"Stop! Don't fucking touch me! I'm not a- I'm not a-" His voice grows weak and shaky. "im not a. im gay." He breathes out, tears rolling down his face. 

Eddie sits aside Richie on the bed, Richie collapsing into Eddie. 

"It's okay 'Che. It's not wrong to be gay. It's not dirty."

Richie sniffiles and wipes his eyes. "Is it dirty to love your best friend?" he asks in genuine curiosity. 

"No." he smiles and strokes Richie's cheek. 

Richie locks eyes with Eddie, the smaller doing the same. They smile and Eddie kisses Richie quickly. 

"I know you're trying to accept yourself, and I'm gonna help you. Because, I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: adasonnycarisi


End file.
